Mistress walked in on me masturbating yeasturday. She had left for a business meeting, and her ride was late so shh e left and then came back. I had black wristlength latex gloves on.
Now, I had a plan. I was going to simultaneously copy a file from phone to computer(to fix the internet), take a suggestive Snapchat to send to mistress, and then masturbate.
Now, as an aside, even though this is predominantly a kiny/fetish porn/NSFW blog you might be surprised that I don’t masturbate to porn.
I do however, masturbate to the thought of my mistress, or sometimes the occasional switch situation where I’m the sir.
Honestly, at this point, I’m so in love with mistress and I’m so in awe of her sexuality that there is literally no porn that can compare to even thought of her touch.
In fact, most of the images posted on this blog are posted in a more….. Inspirational manner.
And on masturbating to fantasies of mistress, sometimes I fantasize about just going on her, pleasuring her until she shakes and then making gentle, sweet love.
On the other hand, I also masturbate to the idea of her tying me to the bed, blindfolding me and testing me until I cry out in anticipation.
So it’s a pretty mixed bag.
Anyways, was super embarrassed, but mistress was pretty understanding.
On fucking up.
I fucked up. Again. And again. And again. Over and over and over. I used to think my life was a book of hard knocks. Now, I’m starting to think it’s just a running record of my mistakes.
I fuck up rent, I fuck up bills, I even managed away to fuck up the Internet. I’ve fucked up my relationship, my sex life, and my self esteem. I’ve fucked up more than one career, school and even my parents lives.
This is just an impulsive rant, venting if you will….
But I guess the question that scares me is: how l many times does it take for it to start breaking me?
Or maybe I’m not afraid of the question, maybe I’m just afraid that it already has….